Writer and academic Nisi Thusi launches two books on young women grooming practices
The launch and book discussion that followed provoked strong reaction from mainly student audience at University of Johannesburg.
By Edward Tsumele, CITYLIFE/ARTS Editor
You are standing in the foyer of the office in which you work, and a young lady passes you headed in the direction of the common open plan ticket you and your boss and other staff members use. But problem is, the boss has not yet arrived with the key to unlock the shared space. But the young lady does not know this. She proceeds to knock, and then tries to open. It is of curse locked.
Embarrassed she retreats and looks at your uncomfortably, her mouth open but no words are immediately coming out. She has realised that you work there and in fact may even know where the boss is. It is then that she greet you and asks where the boss is.
But then already you are feeling awkward, because this is the same person that has just passed y0ou as if you did not exist. Not even a smile and greeting. Nothing. But now she needs your help.
“The reason why I wrote these two books is because what we used to have as African people these days is fast disappearing, and not completely gone. Ubuntu is no more there,” academic and author Dr Nisi Thusi told an audience comprising mainly students and a few other guests at UJ Library on Wednesday, 5, August 2026.
The occasion, was the launch of her two books that she hopes will assist young ladies to navigate the path to adulthood, especially as they prepare to meet a suitor for a lasting relationship.
Thusi believes that the old fashioned way of carrying oneself, dressing well and generally looking elegant and dignified in front of even strangers one is meeting for the first time is very important in making an impression on new people one is meeting.
The book launch event was hosted by The UJ Academic Development and Support Division, in collaboration with the UJ Library, in the context of Women’s Month celebration and discussion of Polished Pearls: Cultivating Grace and Manners in Young Women and The Perfect Suitor: A Young Man That I Would Like My Daughter to Be Married.
These books by Dr Thusi. Are centred on the theme Refining the Narrative and this thought-provoking discussion explored values, character, relationships, and personal growth through meaningful conversations inspired by both books.
And indeed the discussion provoked an impassioned discussion in the room, with young men and young women asking questions that went beyond exploring the issue of creating friendships and mutual respect between a young man and a young women.
One student for example, wanted to know what happens if a partner makes a mistake, apologies and yet goes on to make the same mistakes.
Another asked what to do if one has made several mistakes in the past, and are ready to start on a clean slate.
And yet another young woman wanted to know that one must respond to what she called “’a performative apology” from a partner, suggesting an apology that is not sincere.
There was really a flood of questions directed to the author from the audience both in the room and those who attended virtually. The discussion seemed to have touched a raw nerve among the young men and women who came in large numbers to the event.
That conversation clearly resonated with the attendees, suggesting that it is an issue the audience is grappling with, and clearly needed more time for meaningful, in-depth discussion, going beyond the scope covered by the two books.
It appeared like the audience wanted the discussion to good deeper into relationship and not just, good manners, how to dress to impress and how Ubuntu is important in navigating life, particularly in forming lasting, healthy and mutually respectful relationships with partners, particularly for young women.